Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
