Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
