It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
