tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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