got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
