does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
