you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
