Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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