it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
