I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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