Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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