Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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