Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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