somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
