hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
You're earring is so big in my mouth
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Randomize
