Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
