dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
