We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I think people are normalizing furries
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
