all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
