If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
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