ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Randomize
