i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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