Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
