if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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