his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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