i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
