Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I want a musical about memes.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
