Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
