Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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