I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
