I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
My ass is underappreciated
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
