I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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