I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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