I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize
