I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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