Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
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