I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
