Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
