I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
