Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
