You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
splinters make it hard to masturbate
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
