hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
