I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
