i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize