Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
