i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
He is an equal opportunity slut.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
