shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
