i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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