her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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