you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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