Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
