I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I would fuck him just for his dog
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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