You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
