Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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