handjob tips. give me some.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
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