he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
