Me too!
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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