Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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