Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
