just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Randomize
