You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
im holly from the hills drunk
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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