I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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