I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
