Duck Duck Cougar?
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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