two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Randomize
